Sometimes You Just Need to Vent
9.10.10 § 9 Comments
Usually, when I try out a recipe that doesn’t measure up, I groan about it to myself for awhile and then attempt to salvage the leftovers because I can’t afford to throw out food. That’s what happened awhile back when I made Lime-Curry Rubbed Hanger Steak with Fresh Mango Melon Chutney. It sounds great. I was so excited about it. It really sucked. So, I complained in my head and I never wrote about it. No need for recipe bashing around here. Plus, I figured that maybe I did something wrong since it got so many good reviews on Epicurious. Anyway, I let it go without making a fuss.
However, last night, something was up (my friend Sally mentioned something about Mercury being in retrograde…?) and for some reason, a mediocre recipe combined with a variety of other factors to result in a laughably bad evening, and you know what? I want to vent about it. So here goes.
I decided to try my first Tyler Florence recipe: Pan Roasted Pork Chops with Crispy Prosciutto and Roasted Red Grapes. Sounds good right? I know. I thought so too. To be fair, this recipe wasn’t bad enough on its own to warrant a brief little tirade here. But it was severely disappointing. That, combined with a temperamental smoke alarm in my new apartment that went off at least six times, a severe burn to my hand resulting from my own stupidity, and the internet in my apartment being prematurely disconnected (that really isn’t related to cooking but it did exacerbate my bad mood) led me to judge the dish harshly.
Seriously, Tyler Florence. Prosciutto costs $20 a pound. Why the hell would you want to put it in the oven to “crisp,” making it taste like cheap bacon that’s been burnt? Some of us consider prosciutto a luxury and it would be really nice if it tasted like it. The grapes were the best part of this dish, so if you’re looking for something creative to do with grapes, you’ve found a winner. Other than that, I’d say don’t bother. Especially if your smoke alarm is a screamer.
I think I’m going to take Sally’s suggestion and blame last night’s fiasco on Mercury. I just googled it and it’s in retrograde until September 12th. I’m not sure what that means exactly, but evidently, “bad things happen to earthlings during this period.” I think I’ll hide out until it’s over.
ps – I know it’s pretty. Don’t let that fool you though. And please, for heaven’s sake, DO NOT put prosciutto in the oven.
What do you think? Has Mercury’s unfortunate position in the heavens affected your cooking? And you thought it was just you…