For Ginnie

1.23.11 § 243 Comments

I don’t know if it’s just me, but I find myself missing those I’ve lost in the silliest moments. For example, last night when I pulled my gingerbread out of the oven at like 1am (why I was baking this late at night I can’t really explain, other than to say I’ve gotten a little weird lately), I felt a pang of pride followed quickly by a tinge of sadness. It was the first time I had used this recipe that the loaves didn’t cave in the middle…and as with any baking triumph, my first inclination was to call my best friend and baking inspiration, Ginnie.

Ginne and Me, laughing at God knows what.

Now dear readers, for those of you who are still checking this little old blog in the hopes that I might one day write again, I’m hoping that by writing this post and finally talking about the dark cloud that has been hanging over me, I’ll be reinvigorated in my blogging efforts. You see, I’ve been avoiding this post like the plague, because honestly, I haven’t been quite sure how one writes about the death of a best friend. I’ve also been positive that I couldn’t NOT write about it, because the events of the past few months have rocked my world so much that they’re impossible to ignore. Impossible not to share.

I don’t know if you’ll remember, but on my blog I’ve often referred to Ginnie: the friend who sparked my interest in culinary exploits, the one with whom I shared my greatest meal, and the girl who inspired me to make the most-complicated-ever chocolate cake for my birthday without bothering to tell me that I should adapt it to make it simpler. The one I flew across the country to see a few months ago when she was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive type of cancer. The one who left this world on New Year’s eve 2010, bringing the most challenging year of my life thus far to a close.

My mom's birthday. For birthdays we always got a birthday-baked-good of choice from Ginnie. This year was German Chocolate.

I am so much luckier than most; not many people have the chance to say an adequate goodbye to the people they love the most in this world. I got five full days with my best friend a few weeks before she died, and those five days were the greatest gift I’ve ever received.

One of my favorite parts was that, after having no appetite for three months, Ginnie was ready to chow down in the last few weeks of her life (a side effect of the meds). My mom and I brought her breakfast at the hospital, and the girl who has been into healthy and organic food since we were 11 years old requested an egg mcmuffin AND a sausage biscuit. And lattes. Vanilla lattes. Caramel lattes. It was like we were back in high school when she would ring our doorbell at an ungodly hour and only gain admittance because of the coffee cups in hand, crawling into bed with me and my mom to giggle and gossip over steaming mochas.

Ginnie and me on the night she received her honorary doctorate degree from WSU.

I was lucky, because in those last few days together, I got to say everything I needed to say, including goodbye. We laughed and we cried in equal measure, which I think is pretty impressive given the circumstances. But now? Now comes the hard part. Because everything I do feels like a reminder of her, especially when it comes to food. My gingerbread didn’t cave in the middle this time, but the texture was off, and the person I want to ask about it is Ginnie. She was always like a mad scientist tinkering with things that go in the oven, and I know that she’d have the answer or at least multiple suggestions for what to try. And sure, I’m perfectly capable of figuring it out on my own, but it’s just another reminder that she isn’t here to help me. And to be honest, I was kind of counting on being able to rely on Ginnie’s help, you know, for the rest of my life. For everything.

There is very little to regret about the way things happened, but I do regret that I didn’t get to be at her memorial service. I would have liked the chance to share with everyone what she meant to me. Granted, if you know me, you know that it would have been impossible because I would have been sobbing too furiously to stand up, let alone talk. And of course, there is no way to put into words what she meant to me. But what I would have said is this: She was and is so much a part of me that now, I can’t tell which parts of me are me and which parts are her.

We had a fake tattoo party. Ginnie's tattoo said "homeward." Mine was a dragon.

And so, having finally said that, I’m back. A little sadder. And feeling a little older. And crying much more often. But still here. And I’m going to try again with the gingerbread. Because I will get it right. And when I do I will probably cry, because that’s what you do when your best friend dies. But I’ll also smile, because I am so incredibly lucky to have had such an amazing woman in my life.


Tagged: , , , , , , ,

§ 243 Responses to For Ginnie

  • Lesley says:

    I didn’t know Ginnie all that well, but I knew her well enough to know that she love you so much, and she would be excited about your gingerbread.

    Thanks for sharing. Hearing you remember her is beautiful.

  • Ali Epps says:

    You are so precious! I’m so sorry about Ginnie, I remember seeing yall in high school having so much fun together. Death is such a hard thing… especially when it’s with somebody who is so close to you. You are so blessed to have been able to say goodbye. I’m glad you were finally able to write about her, i’m sure it did your soul good 🙂

  • Gregory Gregg says:

    We are all here for you T; we love you and you can always lean on us in trying times…keep cooking and keep baking and never lose the joy that comes with it for each meal is a way to honor the bond that will always exist between the both of you.

  • Jori says:


    Just wanted to let you know that I’m still a dedicated follower and can’t wait to see what fabulous dishes and Ginnie-inspired baked goods you come up with next 🙂 Thank you so much for sharing


  • Donna says:

    You know, 30 years from now you’ll look for her help with recipes….and that help will still be there. Our best friends really are BFF – I know this to be true.

  • Becca says:

    tyla I love you!!!!!! i’m so glad you’re back, and Ginnie is so so lucky, as we all are, to have a friend like you….

  • Sofia says:

    Tyla, I know we’re barely friends at this point (this will change soon, yes?) but reading this really got to me. I am so sorry that Ginnie’s life was cut short, but from your so eloquent words it sounds as if you made sure that you savored every last moment – and bites of egg mcmuffins 😉 – as well as you could. You will come to peace with this experience over time I’m sure, but right now it’s gonna hurt. Keep baking, exploring and savoring every ounce of life, because simply being alive is such a gift. I’m sure Ginnie would want you to keep your chin up through these hard times, and even though I’m not religious or anything, I believe that she’s watching over you – and your gingerbread loaves – as we speak (or type?).

    Love and hugs,

  • renie says:

    Tyla, I’m so glad you are writing and cooking again; Ginnie wouldn’t have had it any other way! I am sorry you couldn’t make it to Ginnie’s memorial service; it was beautiful and like your last goodbyes with her, full of sadness but much laughter. How her father managed so many humorous stories for our behalf, I’ll never know. And your own mom told a delightful story about Ginnie coming with coffees and donuts and crawling into bed with the both of you many times in the too early hours of weekend mornings. I, too, will miss her. It is very rare to have a student who becomes a friend, one who challenges you to be a better teacher, a better person. I was lucky to have two of those in one year — you and Ginnie. I know you will always miss her, but I am sure in her own unique way (for she was truly unique!) she will always be with us. Keep writing and cooking! Love, Renie

  • Esi says:


    I know this must have been a very difficult post to write. Thanks for writing it. We’re all still here, reading, eagerly anticipating your next recipe and pulling for you through this difficult time. I’m sure Ginnie would be happy that’s you’ve kept baking since that brought you two even closer together 🙂


  • Ramona Gonzalez says:

    Tyla, you are such a wonderful writer! I enjoy reading your blogs about food, friends, and the inevitable….life. Ginnie was a beautiful person, I’m glad to hear you were able to spend some quality time with her before her passing. Just think of how lucky you are to now have her, a beautiful angel, watching over you. Take care and I hope to read more of your blogs in the future.

    Ramona Gonzalez (Used to be Madril before getting married)

  • Tyson says:

    You wrote this so beautifully, and the pictures speak volumes. Virginia was glad to have you as her best friend. And I hesitate to say best friend because I don’t think many have as good of friends as you two were. Thank you for posting a wonderful tribute to a truly amazing young woman.

    I will send along the tres leches recipe I used shortly so you can try it, love it, and post it as well.

    Oh, and she made a German Chocolate cake for my birthday last year, and I believe decadent is the proper word to describe it. Try to be strong, keep cooking, sharing, and loving and you will make this world a better place.

  • gastrolife says:

    Beautiful post. Keep being strong, keep baking and keep honoring your friend.

  • Ana says:

    Very well told. Felt every tear and heard every giggle. Could *almost* taste every bite.
    Keep writing, keep cooking, and keep sharing. Glad you’re back 🙂

  • Ruthie says:

    Tyla, this was a lovely tribute to your friend, Ginnie. I could feel your love and grief… You were both truly blessed to have had each other in this life.

  • Tamara says:

    It is a perfect tribute to an amazing woman, Tyla Megan. I know Ginnie is proud of you and your enduring spirit. She loved you like no other and you WILL see her and feel her in everything you do. You and Ginnie shared a very important trait—you both speak your truth is a way that makes the rest of us really listen.

    Know, that I am proud of you. I admire the courage and determination that you demonstrate time after time to be impeccable with your word when it comes to the promises you’ve made to your superiors at work, your friends and your loved ones. Even when the personal cost to you is considerable, you insist on maintaining your integrity. Also know that the people who matter most in your life, on both a professional AND personal level, appreciate and depend on that ability to speak your truth. I love you more, Mom

    • Ruthie says:

      Tam….your daughter is an amazing woman. But then….I’m not surprised! She comes by it honestly.

  • Tamara says:

    P.S. I especially love the pictures! Mom

  • mindy says:

    what a moving post. i’m glad you’re back and so sorry for everything you and ginnie have been through. you are definitely an owngirl.

  • Marie says:

    Very beautiful post. There will always be love for you at this faraway end of our railroad apartment. And of course Dan and I swear that that is the best damn loaf of gingerbread we have ever tasted.

  • Rosh says:

    This is a beautiful post and testament to an amazing and cherished friendship. Thank you for sharing it here. It’s clear that Ginny was an amazing person, may she rest in peace. I’m sorry for your loss and hope it becomes easier with time.

  • April says:

    i love your heart tyla. and mine beats all the more fully because it has known yours.

  • Sherwyne says:

    Hi, Tyla
    You don’t know me but I’m a compassionate person who really liked what you said about Ginnie. I had her and you and your Mom in my prayers I will be losing a dear friend to cancer also and we used to cook together, those are great memories. I wish you peace and keep up the amazing gift of words they heal.

  • Kara says:

    Megan (as I will always and forever call you),
    you are impossibly strong, and your words were the perfect tribute. Your cooking will be Ginnie’s continued legacy. I love you, old friend.

  • Annie says:

    Saw this post through Mr. Amateur Gourmet, and just had to leave a comment. Congratulations on your first post back after such an ordeal – and a beautiful one at that. My best friend died suddenly three years ago when we were 22(anniversary is this weekend), but I also was blessed with seeing her just two weeks before she passed away – there are dozens of times a day I think about her, and what she would have said or done in a certain situation, and while it’s always bittersweet I’m so grateful that I have so many memories with such an amazing person.
    I’m so sorry for your loss. To lose a best friend really is really to lose a part of yourself. Keep on writing, and take good care of yourself.
    Your new follower,

  • Mark Guncheon says:

    You honor her with your loving words.

  • Ashley Koepke says:


    This blog is so inspirational as was Virginia! It is a blessing have such an ordinary thing such as cooking to bring back memories of an amazing friend. I’m am very grateful I got to meet you in Pullman that week.

    Always thinking of you and sending best wishes.

  • Monica says:

    Thanks for your lovely post–the first I’ve read on your blog. It came to me via a FB friend.

    I have recently lost my dad, who was 85 and very ill and was ready to go. So it’s a long way from the death of a young, vibrant friend. But I’m struck by how your words ring true to my experience. We miss these people who we loved dearly and who have left us, and it comes at the oddest times.

    Here’s hoping that your memories of Ginnie will lift you up when you need that.

  • Traca says:

    What a beautiful post! Reading in the library, I was crying half way though. Sending love & hugs your way…

  • Sarah Jo Corrie says:

    What a treasure a great friend is. It so enriches our lives. So great the loss,so precious the memories.

  • Steff says:

    Hey Tyla,
    thank you for this amazing post. I know it’s hard to write about it. It took me a little while to figure it out too, but eventually I did it. I also wanted to show my german friends how loved she was and give them an idea on how amazing it was to have her as a friend, especially since I had a hard time talking about it.
    I hope you’re doing ok!?! I was really glad that I got to meet you and I know that Ginnie was happy to have you and your mom there!
    Here is a virtual hug for you!!! Stay strong and keep up with this blog!

  • Kathryn says:

    Tyla, what a beautiful memorial for your friend, and a reminder of why I blog. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with Ginnie so that more of us could get to know her spirit. Sending lots of thoughts your way, along with a hug.

  • tandcake says:

    Tyla, thank you for your beautiful post. I am deeply moved by your ability to think of others at such a difficult time.

  • Jo says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Reading this was a harsh reminder of when I lost my grandmother last week, also to cancer. It was incredibly difficult to write, so I feel you! Keep her alive in your memory, and know that my thoughts are with you.

  • Beautifully expressed. Keep smiling.

  • Sandra says:

    Your wonderful story touch me so much! It so beautifully written and I know that your friend will be so proud of you! Keep going forward, smile and think of her! You are an amazing person and I am so glad to find your blog over one good blogger that shared with us!
    Best wishes!

  • Wow. Wishing you peace and continued healing — and many more perfect gingerbread loaves. A gift from your friend above, I’m sure…

  • Andrea says:

    Beautiful post.

  • dorcas says:

    Beautifully said. And sorry for your loss.

  • vixter2010 says:

    Found this on FP and it’s a beautiful post, thanks for sharing. Very moving.

  • kuby2u says:

    I’m crying reading this post. i know the beauty of this friendship won’t take away the pain from the loss. You are correct. You have been blessed to have a friendship like this. Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed.

  • mairzeebp says:

    I always find myself fumbling for the right words whenever I hear of someone’s profound loss. Because of that, I will simply say I am sorry. Your post is beautiful and even though we do not know one another, I wish that there was something I could do. I will hug my own best friend today who I am lucky enough to work with and see every day and will keep you in my thoughts.

    • Tyla says:

      Hugging your own best friend is the best thing you could do for me. We should all take time to tell our best friends how precious they are…every day.

  • edisonjk says:

    yeah cherish your deep friendship within your beautiful heart! i wish your best friend would live with angels in the heaven. put yourself together and strive for bright tomorrow!

  • What a beautiful post. My heart is touched. I send love your way. May it bear you up in the toughest moments…

  • what movemnt are you waiting.

  • makingup3000 says:

    At first I thought I was really going to reading about living without a microwave. This story brought tears to my eyes. There is way too much cancer in the world today and so many sad stories. Thank you for a great post.

  • haynes20 says:

    Just incredible. I don’t need to know either of you to feel the love you and Ginnie felt for each other and to recognise the love you give and receive. You were both blessed to have found each other, to have shared so much, to have so many amazing memories. That we all could have a friendship so dear…stay strong and thank you so much for posting.

  • mmgoodsongs says:

    What a recipe for life! A few tears, a few smiles and you have a good one. I guess the trick (which you seemed to have figured out) is learning how to make adjustments as you go and appreciate what you have. What a loving tribute and I am sure that Ginnie is very proud.

  • beautiful post! 🙂

  • dlauraphillips says:

    I would like to Thank you for sharing.
    I just called my best friend to tell her I love her soo much. and shared your story.
    She lives in Austin. Im in California.
    Ginnie smile is truly contagious. Thank you again.

  • faithlooksup says:

    You had me almost in tears after reading through this. It must be SO hard to have written this. Losing a loved one, especially a best friend is NEVER easy, but I’m glad you did. I’m reminded to treasure the little moments with family and (best) friends ’cause you just never know how long we have left on this earth. Thanks for sharing. I’m sure it took alot for you to blog again, but you’ve been a blessing to me just doing so. Hope you continue cooking and congrats on being Freshly Pressed.

  • etrodrig says:

    I found your story on the Freshly Pressed list. My dad was diagnosed with a treatable, but not curable, cancer 3 years ago, and while I can say that without bursting into tears now, it still terrifies me that something can happen today or tomorrow, and he won’t be here anymore. I’m glad you got to spend those 5 days with your best friend, and I’m so sorry for your loss. You are such an inspiration to people who will read this because you show them strength in even the hardest situations. Thank you for sharing this!

  • I am so sorry about Ginnie. I think she agrees with us that your tribute post could not be any more perfect. “She was and is so much a part of me that now, I can’t tell which parts of me are me and which parts are her.” You did a great job and you’ll always have this and your memories together.

  • humanitarikim says:

    What a lovely post! You have managed to bring tears to my eyes. Memories of your dear friend will last forever and your baking will improve in her honor. Thank you for your beautiful story and allowing us to read it.

  • Holly says:

    What a beautiful post, thanks for sharing!

    Congratulations on FP, and the best of luck with your gingerbread.

  • Romarin says:

    That is an amazing post. Thanks so much for sharing it. I feel like I just learned a lot in the past few minutes while I was reading it.

  • I could not get through your post or half the responses without tears coming to my eyes. How lucky you two were for having each other, how sad that she has passed. I can’t imagine how long it must have taken you to write this.

  • Vanessa says:

    so beautiful

  • I just saw this post on the front page of wordpress, and it is one of the most eloquent, beautifully written, heartfelt things I’ve ever read. Thank you for posting this, I’m so thankful I came across your blog.

    I’m so sorry for your loss.

  • Renee Fisher says:

    What a beautiful homage to a friendship that will continue to nurture you for the rest of your life.

  • Lakia Gordon says:

    That was so powerful. Thank you for sharing this moment with us. I am praying for you and your family and hers as well.

  • kloppenmum says:

    Thinking of you at this difficult time. It sounds like you had a marvellous friend in Ginnie, and I’m pleased for you that you had a chance to say a proper goodbye.

  • gmomj says:

    I admire you for having the strength to write about your dear friend this close to her passing. I also lost a loved one but can’t yet write about him, perhaps never will.
    Shame because unlike Ginnie the world won’t know what a neat guy he was.
    I did write peripherally about him recently so I offer that to you.
    It does hurt less with time.
    With you,

    • Tyla says:

      Thanks so much for sharing your post. I think that the sharing helps with the grief, even if it’s indirectly that we speak of those we’ve lost.

  • Ana says:

    There is so much truth in your words
    “…the texture was off, and the person I want to ask about it is Ginnie… I’m perfectly capable of figuring it out on my own, but … I was kind of counting on being able to rely on Ginnie’s help, you know, for the rest of my life. For everything.”

    i thank you for that… this is how i feel too after losing my father

  • Jen Quon says:

    I’m sorry for your loss but thankful you were able to share it with us.

  • Morocco says:

    A beautiful tribute!

  • Von de Leigh says:

    God bless and give you peace.

  • Lilian says:

    This is a lovely tribute to your friend. Sorry for your loss.

  • cafetisa says:

    Hi, it was beautiful and sad to read your post about someone so precious in your life. I know what a shock to the system it is to lose someone so special, and I don’t think it’s something that you can ever get over. The pain can be unbearable sometimes, but I believe writing about it is one of the best ways to grow emotionally. I wrote a similar post about my dad a little while ago
    If you sometimes feel as though you are the only one in the world, feel free to have a look. I know it was very therapeutic to get it out, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it for a long time. All I can say for you, me and anyone else who knows this pain,is that I believe peace WILL come.

    • Tyla says:

      cafetisa – thank you so much for sharing your post. I do agree that the sharing is therapeutic, especially when so many people can identify with your words. Thanks again.

  • Valerie says:

    Your words have truly captured the beauty of your love and friendship even for those of us who never had the privilege of knowing Ginnie. My prayers are with you.

  • What a loving testamoney about our friend. After reading your blog, which was expertly done, I could feel the attachment. You shared your lives with each other. You and she were both blessed by knowing each other. You are going to carry her with you whereever you go and whatever you do. Blessings to you.

  • I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s beautiful that you got the chance to say all those things you needed to say to her, and that you experienced her love for you, and can take it with you wherever you go, whatever you do. Sometimes, for all the ultimately insignificant reasons that we humans can conjure to make life difficult, some of us don’t get the chance to express our memories, our love, our pooling grief — our reluctant goodbye. It won’t be soon, but the day will come when you take gingerbread out of the oven, think of Ginnie and just smile. Thank you for helping me remember my loved ones today.

  • Kaleigh says:

    This is a beautiful post. At some point you will be able to smile as you pull out that gingerbread and remember her, instead of have that twinge of empty pain. Best wishes in your healing.

  • Tori Nelson says:

    What a beautiful way to honor your best friend, and thank you for finding words to share with us even when it is hard to grasp the loss. I’m sure you have many more smiles in memory of Ginnie to come. She will continue to be a light for you (baking endeavors and beyond!)

  • Geej says:

    What a nice tribute. I just lost a best friend this week; she died suddenly and I never got to say goodbye.

    Blogging about it is, indeed, healing; and I like to believe that our departed friends would appreciate the gesture.

  • Tyla:

    I just stumbled onto your blog on the wordpress homepage and must say that this is very touching. What a great tribute to a friend. It takes courage to assess one’s feelings honestly and even greater courage to put them out there.

    There are moments that are tough now, and memories must surely be a mixed bag of sorrow and bliss now and in days ahead. The ache accompanying the sorrow will lessen over time, and the sweetness of the memories will increase. I think it is good that you are continuing with your cooking and your baking, and your writing too. Am sure that Ginnie would have had it no other way.

    Thank you for sharing,

  • anne says:

    Beautifully written! I could relate in many ways. I lost my sister a few years ago, (she was only 33) to a really freak accident. It seems like I think of her at the weirdest times – like when I see a stupid bumper sticker, or hear a totally lame joke – because she’d have loved it, and for the longest time I would think “Oh! I need to call her…” then think, “oh yeah, crap”. Time does make it easi”er”, but never easy. I wish you years of happy baking.

  • Having never read your blog before, I am sitting here crying at the thought of your loss. Best friends are so important…and as a fellow baker, ones that have the science brain to figure out what went wrong, are irreplaceable! Keep baking, as well as a great reminder of your friendship, it is also incredibly cathartic.

  • Liz says:

    What an amazing, emotional, beautiful tribute to your friend!

  • Sara says:

    Great story, you are very brave and good person.

  • What a great post! I don’t know neither you nor Ginnie, but I sat here crying as I read most of your writing. It is so wonderful that you were able to share such great times with a friend as true and great as Ginnie.

  • Xie says:

    I love your post. It made me cry happy and sad tears. I am sorry for your loss and happy that you had such a friend to share in your life.
    I lost my best friend since middle school in Aug of 2006. She left this world suddenly. No one got the chance to say good-bye and tell her how much they loved her.
    In the days after finding out I began writing Allison letters. I still write to her. I tell her everything I would have if she was still here. About my children and how much they act like her, though they have never met her. About moving all over the country and the great experiences I have had. I write all the random dumb things too! My heart has slowly begun to heal through them and I like to think that she can read them.

    I wish you all the love and hugs you could possibly stand.

    • Tyla says:

      Xie, thanks so much for sharing. My mom has suggested that I start writing letters to Ginnie, and I may do so, especially after hearing how it has helped you in your healing. Thanks so much for reading.

  • Beau Gamble says:

    I haven’t been here before, but I wanted to say how beautiful I thought your post was… I’ve never had to go through losing someone close to me before, and I can’t imagine how hard it is. But when it does happen, I will be proud if I can handle it anywhere near as well as it sounds like you have…

    • Tyla says:

      Beau Gamble, it only appears like I’m handling it well because I had many, many hours to revise this blog post. But thank you for the comment…I truly hope you never have the experience of losing someone dear to you.

  • Losing someone you love and care is always painful. I lost two friends in the past three years, so I know what’s like to not being able to see and talk to them when you want/need them most.

    I couldn’t hold my tears when I read the hard part of losing your friend, that everything you do is a reminder of her. I totally get it. I still cry and turn off the music or change station when a song that reminds of my friends pops up on radio, or the movies we saw together, I can’t still see it.

    I’m so sorry for your loss and I hope you’re a little stronger today than yesterday, and smiling. And thank you sharing your story and how wonderful your friend Ginnie was…

    • Tyla says:

      Though it (supposedly) gets easier, it’s also nice to know that the memories and that love never truly go away. I’m sure certain songs, movies, etc, will always make me pause and remember, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Thanks for sharing.

  • K says:

    What a beautiful and truly moving post–thank you so much for sharing your memories with all of us. I recently lost someone close to me as well, so this struck quite close to home. Blogging about it actually helped me to get a bit of closure and to make sense of my experiences–I hope this post does that for you as well.

  • leadinglight says:

    Your post is so poignant and touching in your loving tribute to the memory of a obviously very cherished and treasured friend. Friends are the glue that hold us together and I imagine it took a lot of courage to express your emotions. But although I know neither of you, I am sure Ginnie was as equally to happy to have you as a part of her life. Best of luck with other baking exploits!

  • meesha94 says:

    I don’t know you and I didn’t know Ginnie. But I have lost a best friend before to Cancer. And I just want to say good job on keeping up with your life and thank you for posting this. I cried while reading it and though it hurts it will get better, maybe not today and maybe not for another month, but it will.

    Again, thank you for posting this and keep baking, you’ll get it right soon.

  • I just lost someone I loved very much to cancer this past December too, and I wanted to say that your post was beautiful. I wrote (and am writing) a bit about my loss on my blog, mostly about how I’m coping. I was nodding my head in complete agreement when you said that you couldn’t NOT write about the events of the past few months, because they were too important to ignore. Thank you for sharing, it helped me tonight. 🙂

    • Tyla says:

      I’m so glad that it helped…the catharsis from this post has been amazing for you, I hope blogging will be the same for you. I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending lots of love.

  • dia says:

    Wow…that must have been difficult to write, but a masterpiece when it was finally complete. Well done. I wrote about someone close to me in my childhood and I must have edited it a million times before I hit “Publish” because I knew that person deserved “only the best”. The words had to be right–you accomplished a touching and heartfelt tribute and that’s no small feat.

    You are a courageous person. It is as difficult and sometimes maybe even more difficult to walk along side a person who is fighting such a difficult illness. Many people would have walked away, saying “it’s just too tough” or “I just don’t know what to say”, but you were there, you talked, you hugged, you suffered too. You were just as strong. What a true friend. Thanks for showing us all “how it’s done.”

  • So well written, I am crying from the beauty of your words and the thought of loosing someone so important. Glad you could write about it, and I am so sorry for your loss.

  • Amy @ purewellnessamy says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Your post was beautiful and heartbreaking.

    Take care-

  • Gwenelle says:

    Tyla … what a beautiful, expressive, emotionally wrought and, I hope, cathartic post. I know from personal experience how painful and difficult it can be to put those feelings and rich memories into concrete words. Thank you for sharing, and praise God that you had those five special days with Ginnie to say all those things that somehow we often neglect to tell our loved ones until it is too late. May all your baking adventures be sweetened with the memory of your beautiful friend.

  • Kenn says:

    Sorry for your loss but if you keep your friend alive in your heart (like you’re doing with this beautifully written post), she will never truly be gone.

  • My heart aches for you. I know what its like to experience the death of a close friend, seemingly too young. It has made me cherish the time left with friends and family. You cannot lose someone if you know where they are 🙂 One day I hope you will see your friend again. Until then I am sure she would want you to continue what both of you loved and for you to be happy. So keep cooking and keep blogging, for your friend. I hope that you make it through this difficult time in your life. The pain doesnt stop, even after years, but somehow you make it through.

  • jodie says:

    What a beautiful tribute to your best friend. You must have a very big heart because you write from that place.
    I hope you never lose that gift. True love and friendship never die.

  • Taylor says:

    I am extremely new at blogging and just navigating to leave this comment made me feel like a four year. Well, nowadays a four year old probably could have found it faster. However, I figured it out and here I am. I guess I felt drawn to this to leave you something. I don’t understand why great people sometimes have to leave us so soon, but in the same sense we blanket ourselves with the faith and hopes that there are wonderful reasons for them to go beyond our comprehensions. I truly believe your lifelong friend, and she always will be, is in a much more spectacular place. Your so beautifully written journal leaves me envisioning her baking up a storm in her new home and still laughing with you at your gingerbread. I have a great friend much like yours and I too do not know where she begins and I end at times. We are fortunate and blessed to have met, loved, and shared with these wonderful people. With ALL of that being said I am officially one of your new followers (once I figure that out, too). Stay inspired.

    • Tyla says:

      Taylor, thanks for taking the time to navigate the posting process, the image you shared of Ginnie baking up a storm in her new home brought me to tears all over again. I am certain that you are right…she’s probably up there making some kick ass gingerbread that would put mine to shame.

  • beautiful post, made me cry.

  • dogstale says:

    Hi Tyla, your last post made me sad and happy at the same time. Your bloggin and baking though, is helping a lot of people. Please keep it up. My recent tough times resulted in me baking the most awesome mini apple pies, i wanted to send you a picture but don’t know how in comment section, but maybe i will figure it out. Thanks for sharing a small piece of your life and telling us about Ginnie. Random stranger. 🙂

  • I am sending you a virtual hug.

  • lisasub says:

    The irony… life teaching us how to live. 🙂

    A loss can bring a renewed sense of life and what it means to live each day…. a gift.

  • harkheindzel says:

    Aawww…so sorry about that.

  • craigtwit says:

    The strength of your friendships, and the loss you feel when they leave before their time, are only signs of your character and strength.

    Keep on keeping on. Ginnie had the look of a good person in the pictures. Keep her memory alive by staying passionate about the things you both cared about.

    Our hearts are where our passions are. So are our memories.

  • Ed says:

    Tragic and lovely all rolled into one. Thank you for sharing.

  • Biraciality says:

    Friendship are priceless & it’s one of life’s greatest gifts. =)

  • Greg says:

    In which big city do you live? Just curious.

    • Tyla says:

      Hey Greg, I live in New York 🙂

      • Greg says:

        I want to apologize to you for asking such a non sequitor type question here. I didn’t see your entire post when I first commented. I didn’t know. I’m sorry.

  • Lindsay says:

    Thank you so much for your beautiful words. They were an incredible comfort to me.

    “But what I would have said is this: She was and is so much a part of me that now, I can’t tell which parts of me are me and which parts are her.”

    I will remember that passage in particular.

    Thank you again, and I’m so sorry for your loss.

  • Wow! You just brought me to tears. Thank you so much for sharing this! Losing someone is such a taboo that everybody left behind thinks he/she is alone in his/her grief.
    I wish you all the best in this difficult time and I admire your braveness!

  • Dawn says:

    I think you just told the world what Ginnie meant to you in a most beautiful way. I can’t even imagine how honored she must feel right now.

    I lost my best friend to cancer in 2004. It is sweet how the parts of them that become so infused in us…make us so much better.

    Thank you.

  • Deboshree says:

    Beautiful. That’s the word. 🙂

  • Svetkarin says:

    This is so beautifully written. Thank you for sharing it, I think I have to start treating my best friend more nicely.
    I’m deeply sorry for your loss. Stay strong!

  • seascribe says:

    This is such a beautifully written tribute.

  • lagabbianellaeilgatto says:

    Really beautiful post. I can’t imagine how hard is this for you.

  • Irene says:

    How lucky Ginnie is to have a friend like you. You are beautiful and amazing. When I lost a friend I had dreams of her dancing, singing. She was always happy when I dreamt of her. It helped me a lot to know she was happy in her new home.

  • Michi says:

    Thank you for sharing such beautiful things about your best friend. This is the most precious thing I’ve read about a person… Much love to you and Ginnie.

  • so sorry for your loss!!!
    but i must say the post is so written so nicely that it made me feel a little sad…though I don’t know you or your friend…
    May her soul rest in peace…

  • CLUK says:

    Your site fantastic. I like it

  • ashla roy says:

    ive been staring at this comment box far too long. Don’t know how much a complete stranger from India would have been, but I really wish I could have been there for you.

  • laavventura says:

    Im sorry to hear about your loss. Ginnie through your words seems a wonderful woman. Sometimes life has a way with us and in those times it best to bake. Wishing you a strong year.

  • vanessa says:

    dear tyla
    i now we don´t now each other.
    reading your post realy moved me, i now the pain you are felling ate this moment and the courage you had to write this post.
    about then years ago my stepfather ( the man i called dad and still do) was murder i´m still in hurt. i wasn´t as lucky as you i din´t get the change to say goodbey and i still puts a very havy wait on my heart.
    it doesn´t matteres how long time passes we will always miss the ones the parted before ther time. if lost 3 very importante persones in my life and it´s been years already but i still turn to them for advise.
    let me guive you an advice some one gived me: whem you must need them close your eyes and they will be ther. and they are tyla belive me!
    with all my love and hopping that you´ll keep strong
    a big kiss and hug from portugal

    • Tyla says:

      Vanessa, thanks so much for your comment and so sorry for your loss. I think one of the biggest comforts for me has been that Ginnie and I were so close, I can almost always imagine what her advice to me would be. I’ve internalized her and so you are right, she’ll always be there.

  • whenquiet says:

    I travelled a similar path as you. While struggling with aggressive colon cancer, my friend asked that I sing at her funeral(she knew she didn’t have long)..One of the most difficult things I ever had to do…
    There is healing power in honoring those that we have lost. I am sure she is smiling.

    • Tyla says:

      whenquiet, I can’t even imagine how hard that must have been. Even discussing Ginnie’s memorial with her was extremely difficult, but we are so lucky our friends both had the chance to turn their memorials into what they wanted them to be…it’s a rare gift. Thank you for your comment.

  • J says:

    I am so sorry about your friend, but that kind of friendship you can only hav once in a life time.

  • I’m so so sorry for your loss- it must be like losing a part of yourself! Stay strong though. Writing will probably help- this post was beautiful and I had tears in my eyes.

    Keep Ginnie’s spirit close with lots of experimental cooking 🙂 xx

  • S.O.School says:

    Nossa que historia… com ctz ela se foi agradecendo pela amiga que ela encontrou na vida. você é forte e merece seguir em frente. e com ctz ela estara sempre te guiando. AMEI seu Blog, muita gente tem mesmo que ler pra começar a dar mais valor a vida.

    soschool ;*

  • triptracker says:

    This was a very moving piece. Though you may have missed her memorial her memory will now be for ever there for not just her friends and family but everyone else to be touched by who is was and meant to you.

  • My vote for “Best blog post of the century!
    This time it is a very deserving Freshly Pressed.



  • What lovely post. Thank you for sharing, and I hope by writing it you feel a little better. God Bless.

  • Jeff says:

    Wow, I just found this post when looking at WordPress for the first time. How blessed you were to have such a great friend and how sad it made my heart to hear about your loss. Thank you for sharing your feelings, it’s nice to know there are people in this world with such strong bonds……

  • soluna413 says:

    Oh God… it was so hard for me to read this because I imagined what life would be like without my best friend and I couldn’t even bear to entertain the thought. I’m sorry you’re going through a loss so tragic and I just wanted to remind you that Ginnie is in a better place now. She no longer is able to feel pain or suffer, and she’s watching over you now as an angel.

  • rashmikamath says:

    its good to see someone who can take so much in one stride and who can keep it all together even through a crisis.

    ginnie will always be with you and i bet she’ll cry when you get the gingerbread right too 🙂 🙂

    best of luck :)take care 🙂
    and keep writing 🙂

  • The Hook says:

    Thank you for sharing your life, even the painful chapters.

  • Having a friendship like that is always an amazing privilege. I’m so glad that you got to say goodbye. Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed. 🙂

  • mikeealy says:

    lol. Happy Baking. Now that you’ve conquered the loaf are you moving on to more ambitious pastries?

    • Tyla says:

      Haha, well, Ginnie was really the baker…I like to keep it simple and stick to cooking instead. We’ll see though…I’m feeling a bit inspired lately.

  • artsoulandzoe says:

    Thank you for having the courage to share this. It has inspired me today.

  • Florsheim says:

    Losing a friend to cancer has to be one of the most horrible things anyone can go through, both for the cancer victim and the friends and family of the poor victim.

  • Lynn says:

    Press in and share.

  • I may not know what it is like to lose a BFF, but I DO know what it is to lose a friend, a young friend, someone who dies long before his/her time. My friend was only 19 at the time. Though I do not know you, my heart goes out to you. This really is a beautiful post, well written and both heart warming and heart wrenching.

  • andiwaited says:

    i just stumbled upon this entry (it was on the homepage of wordpress), but i am so glad i did. moving and inspirational, and a great reminder of how much the important people really shape our lives. thoughts and prayer are with you.

  • batikmania says:

    What a sweet memory of a good friend. And you wrote it nicely. The other day I just read a story in Chicken Soup’s website. Here’s the story: I think you should find yourself one copy of it and read it along. You can grieve, and sure you can recover from it. You’ll have the next ginger bread better. 😉

  • What a poignant tribute to friends. I came to your blog because we are learning to live without a microwave and read your post. It moved me so much as one of closest friends if fighting cancer right now.

    You are a great friend.

  • I know you don’t know me but I just wanted to say I’m so sorry for your loss! I’m in tears after reading that and sending up a prayer for encouragement for you.
    I think I need to call my best friend right now and tell her how much I love her! Peace and comfort to you!

  • ohhayamberxx says:

    The best post I’ve read that was Freshly Pressed, honestly. I’m so sorry for your loss and can’t even begin to imagine how hard it must be. My thoughts are with you. ❤

  • […] Sincerely, ‘the aquarian fire rabbit that will turn 23 on Wednesday’. currently on the loose in KL, right where she was born and not bred. she feels right at home, even though her family is in Kuching. Resilient much? yes…that’s one tough girl who doesn’t like the word “No”. I don't know if it's just me, but I find myself missing those I've lost in the silliest moments. For example, last night when I pulled my gingerbread out of the oven at like 1am (why I was baking this late at night I can't really explain, other than to say I've gotten a little weird lately), I felt a pang of pride followed quickly by a tinge of sadness. It was the first time I had used this recipe that the loaves didn't cave in the middle…and a … Read More […]

  • Sarah says:

    …What a lovely tribute to your friend, Ginnie. My condolences on your loss. Be strong. Be well. Many blessings to you.

  • Thank you for sharing so honestly. The last thing we girls made together was my Mom’s gingerbread. We dared to add an ingredient to improve upon her amazing recipe and she approved. She died just a few months later and every gingerbread I bake now, is so much more precious and I take the first bite with a smile as I remember Mom asking for one more bite.
    Celebrate Ginnie with every bite. What a precious gift she is.

  • WOW – What a beautiful tribute. Keep fighting the good fight with the gingerbread, and in the meantime keep your head up. God bless!

  • atticannie says:

    I blogged about losing my best friend last November. i was fortunate in that we our in our 60s rather young like you. 2010 was not a good year. I also stopped blogging because i lost my words. They are coming back to me along with the acceptance of her passing. My thoughts are with you, wherever in the world you are. God bless.

  • Jessiepooh says:

    My husband died in a very similar way and all I wanted to do was write about it but every time I tried, it sounded pathetic and sad. He wasn’t pathetic and sad and he wouldn’t want me to write that way. I hope this helps you get your “words” back. It was a very beautiful piece.

  • I just want to say that this is the first time I have ever seen your blog and the first post of yours I’ve read and it made me cry.
    I don’t think that any memorial service could be a better tribute to your amazing friend than what I just read.
    I hope that she continues to inspire you in your baking and your wonderful writing.
    All the best! 🙂

  • leanbeauty says:

    This is amazingly inspirational.
    What a story.. And what a well to tell it!
    My thoughts are with you!

  • Rachael says:

    I don’t cry much, but right now I can’t help it. Your post is very beautiful and very humbling. Thanks for writing it. I’m going to appreciate my wonderful friends all the more tomorrow.

  • Really beautiful, humbling & nice post. Peace and comfort to you!Thanks for sharing…..:)

  • Cris says:

    The words in the blog express some many feelings that it made me a little misty eyed. Understanding of the dark place that you are coming from, it is difficult to admit to what has happened.(I also lost my best friend/Mother 3-14-10) But just like you I look back at all the time I got to spend with Mom, and consider myself the luckiest person to have had a Mother such as my own. It will always be hard not to miss the ones you have lost. Always remember that the influence that has molded you to who you are today.

  • lonijoy says:

    i loved your writing.
    thanks for sharing something so profound and special xx

  • volantini says:

    Volantini torino è un AGENZIA DI DISTRIBUZIONE VOLANTINI che opera da oltre 12 anni nel settore della distribuzione di volantini, pubblicità in cassetta e altro. Volantini torino è un’azienda leader nel settore, che nel corso degli anni si è evoluta impiegando tutta la propria esperienza per ottimizzare il servizio e garantire una qualità assoluta ai propri clienti. Dispone di ampi magazzini e attrezzature atte a movimentare ed immagazzinare grandi quantità di materiale cartaceo. Avvalendosi di una struttura capillarmente distribuita sul territorio regionale, Volantini torino è in grado di assicurare un servizio di consegna rapido in ogni zona, garantendo la qualità migliore. Ad oggi è l’unica azienda che permette di monitorare la distribuzione nelle varie aree tramite controllo GPS, assicurando ai propri clienti il servizio offerto. Volantini torino opera in Lombardia, Piemonte, Liguria,

  • very good article
    Bali Internet Marketing

  • Yasir Imran says:

    Ginnie is very cute 🙂

  • mamagrace71 says:

    So very glad I clicked on your post in the “Freshly Pressed”
    So beautifully written and a wonderful tribute.
    Thanks for sharing xo

  • haynes20 says:

    thank you. Again.

  • I think this post is beautiful. You not only managed to get over that important hurdle and talk about your loss, but your writing clearly expresses the love you two had. I hope Ginnie’s in a happier place. Cancer’s an evil that causes so much pain. I myself have lost relatives to cancer, so in some small way, maybe I can relate.

  • Nikki Mahieu says:

    I’m really sorry for your loss.
    Thank you for sharing this with the world.
    I hope you’re doing well.

  • mehmudah says:

    This was beautiful, thanks for sharing

  • Atik Mujiati says:

    I glad you replay my email,thanks.

  • ghostwiththemost says:


    All I can say is that blog posts like this are what makes reading blogs worthwhile.


  • Writing about grief and love is difficult to do well, if ever. Thanks for finding the courage and skill to tell your story and to share the photos of your friend.

    As others have said, you are a deeply brave and loving woman to have stood by your friend through such an ordeal, as so many people just leave when their friends are so scared and really need them the most. It takes great strength to offer it to others as well.

  • Susan says:

    Weeping over here at 7 a.m. after seeing your post on Freshly Pressed. So sorry for your loss. Your post is a beautiful tribute to your dear friend. I had a good old chat with my best friend last night; we’ve been best friends for 30 years. I am reminded how precious these friends are – thanks to your post. And the importance of saying how much we love them whenever we can. Take care.

  • sterlingmf says:

    A beautiful tribute to a wonderful friendship.

  • Kai says:

    Thank you for sharing such a touching story. I wish you all the best!

  • I cannot stop crying after reading your story. Even as I write this my eyes my cheeks are wet and my eyes are hazy. Keep baking girl! Do what you love. Whatever it is, and that is key to a happy life. Your inspiration was just what I needed to hear today. Thank you for sharing and I am sorry for the loss of your friend.

  • I lost my favorite cousin when she was 32 and I was 30. She beat lymphoma only to die of an infection. Losing her was like losing a fundamental piece of myself. I made the pilgrimage to go see her a few weeks before she died, and I’m SO glad that I did. I’m sorry that you lost your friend and I’m glad that you got to say goodbye.

  • Rach says:

    I have no idea who you are and have never read you’re blog before but that was so beautiful I cried. I’m so sorry to hear about Ginnie and I hope writing this has helped you remember what you had and shared rather than the afct she is gone. You both sound like amaing people.

  • From Singapore says:

    Yes darling, this blog post went all around the world and touched the hearts of us (well, at least me) in Singapore. This little dot on the globe.

    Funny enough, when the movie My Sister’s Keeper was out here in this part of Asia, I did not get a chance to watch it nor did I read the book.

    Then, a few days ago I rented the DVD and I found myself crying from the beginning of the show, middle, end and a few hours after that.

    Then I saw a link to your blog and I’m all misty eyed now. I cannot even begin to imagine the sorrow you felt upon your loss (my deepest condolences). But stay strong and keep doing the things you love to (even if it reminds you of Ginnie). You have alot of friends and family, ready to be that pillar of strength for you when you need one.

    Keep loving and continue sharing with your ‘fans’ by showing us all how important it is to not take things (like love/respect for the family and friends) for granted… God bless you x

  • halfwayto50 says:

    What a moving story. I’m sorry to hear about your loss and look forward to reading what you post about next.

  • stormdream says:

    Your post was on the front of; I don’t know you at all, but you wrote a very beautiful tribute to Ginnie, and to friendship itself.

    You write in your post that you would have liked to have shared what she meant to you. By writing this post, you have done just that.

    Keep working on the gingerbread (I hear it’s tricky). I believe Ginnie will be be watching over your cooking exploits, and you.

  • aletarw says:

    We underestimate the value of a friend. You were fortunate to have her. Thanks for sharing your story.

  • Sharon says:

    I don’t know you at all. I saw this blog post in Freshly Pressed this morning. This was a beautiful tribute to an irreplaceable friend. As lucky as you were to have her, she was just as lucky to have you.

    God bless.

  • […] Friday, I saw a beautiful tribute from one woman to her friend.  I am so blessed that I have not been faced with such a […]

  • kristina says:

    You are in my prayers.
    Thank you for sharing such a beautiful reflection with the world.


  • MJyummymunch says:

    Wow, what a beautiful and inspiring post. My husband lost his mum to bowel cancer. Even though she’s gone physically, we know she’s always watching over us spiritually. Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful post. (ps. congrats for being freshly pressed).


  • April says:

    I stumbled upon your blog today. I hate crying, but I’m here trying to see through my tears to type this comment to you. Your post is extremely moving and I am sorry for your loss. Friendships are amazing and it sounds like you both knew how amazing your friendship was. No one should take them for granted because they never know what will happen. Take care!

  • Natalie says:

    thank you so much for sharing this… 8 years later i still struggle with the loss of my father from cancer and i admire you ability to face this so soon… Ginnie sounds like a wonderful young woman and I’m sure she will live on in you…

  • A. says:

    Although I can’t fully understand you, I feel really sorry for your loss. However, I must say that I envy you somehow. Such a friendship is an amazing thing that I personally have never shared. Everyone should be grateful for an experience like this, and I strongly believe that you are a lucky person to have been able to spend a couple of days with her before her death. Managing to say everything you wanted, including goodbye, is a wonderful thing. I think it would have been horrible not to have this privilege.

    I hope you’ll always know that she is by your side all the time, in one way or another. Though it’s the first time to read your blog, this post truly inspired me and awoke sad feelings. Thanks for reminding me how precious is true friendship and to value every moment with special person, because we can never know what could happen, and death is so sadly irreversible…

  • shenanitim says:

    You weren’t sure how to write this, and you did very well. I tried writing about a friend’s death once, ended up talking about my mother’s death, and had my whole audience crying. Which wasn’t exactly the intention.

  • What an incredibly touching post. I’m sorry to hear about your friend, but glad you were able to spend time with her before she passed away. ❤ Thanks for sharing.

  • Reading this made me want to cry.I can only imagine how awful it must be .

  • What a beautifully written post. I can sympathize with that feeling of dread of writing about something painful, but feeling like you can’t not write about it either. I am so sorry for your loss, I’m sure Ginnie would want you to keep writing and baking.

  • Editor001 says:

    Funny thing about food, the soul and life. We need all three to be human and happy, yet so many cook, live and eat without happiness.

    Cooking, to me is like meditation, prayer and finding peace with yourself, and for those you are sharing this intimate act.

    Food, cooked with love, no matter the batter always taste better.

    I found when I can do nothing else, the paint is dry, and my hands cramped from art, or my brain is fried from trying to write. I find solace in the quiet moments between me and the oven.

    Those are the moments when you’ll hear Ginnie, and fin the answers to all your questions.

    Blessings, and healing.
    If we were all so lucky to have a friend like you, in the hard times, the easy times, and the sad times.

    Rock on sister, and share her love!

  • So inspiring and well posting about friendship and humanity. I like this one, teaching me that We shall care to each other especially to our friends.

    Thanks for inspiring me.


  • I know what it is like to loose someone you are so close to because I have felt the pain. Life goes on and gets a little better each day. A friend once told me ” I know you loved them, but God loved them more.” It has helped me just a wee bit to think of death this way!

  • educlaytion says:

    Wow. Simply powerful. I’m rarely left with nothing to say, but you’ve said it all.

  • mama66 says:

    Beautiful Beautiful tribute. Just know that she knows. She knows. You inspired me to write of my baking inspiration on my blog today. You will never stop missing her, but she truly is forever a part of you.

  • I have no idea what it means to lose a friend, especially a best friend who’s like a sister to you, but I do know that losing a loved one is painful. With that said, I am truly sorry for your loss. Your words are powerful and amazing as well as inspirational; I saw these words in the past so I thought I’ll repeat them to you, “She was always there when we needed her, till one day, our Lord needed her more.”

  • Karen says:

    Thank you for finding the courage to write about this. Beautiful!

  • arbonnita says:

    What a beautiful and open share about someone so precious in your life. Makes me realize that we are all so similar in some ways, that I could relate so much to these feelings and experiences even though we are strangers. Thanks for reminding me of that, and to treasure the people in my life.

  • rtcrita says:

    While you were blessed to have such a good friend, she was obviously just as blessed to have you, too. The thing I notice most in your photos is how much she is smiling — with you right there by her side. You never forget a loved one who has moved on. She’ll be in your heart forever. But, hopefully, as time goes on, you’ll do more smiling when you think of her than crying. (Although, crying is certainly okay, too.)

    I hope this was cathartic for you and you will keep on writing, as well as baking. I know I am certainly interested to read more of what you write. I wish you peace in your soul.

  • aritpn says:

    What an amazing, emotional, beautiful tribute to your friend!

  • Li'l Ms. Anonymous says:

    I lost 2 of my closest friends, one 5 years ago & another a year ago. I have a rough idea of what you are going through. Know this – while at times even after 5 years I still can’t breathe & cry my eyes out, overall it does get easier. There’s a little bit of guilt that creeps in somewhere when you feel like you’ve moved on a little bit but that passes too when you’ve realized you’ve just grown, not grown apart.
    Stay strong!

  • I’m so sorry to hear about your friend. I’m so glad you got to say goodbye to her. My roommate from college passed away five years ago after a long illness, but still it was sudden because she seemed to be getting better. I almost went to see her a few weeks before, but got sidetracked, and almost called her when Hurricane Katrina happened because I knew she had friends in the area, and she died five days later. I didn’t let myself feel it or think of her for years. I didn’t let it hurt me. But one day, I was talking to her best friend, and it all came flooding back. It’s hard, but in its own way, better. You’re so fortunate that you’ve said goodbye and that you’re processing it. I really admire your strength.

  • what a remarkable true life of Ginnie.To lose a dearest friend is unbearable.You have done your part VERY well to say Goodbye.Nicely written Blog post.Lucky to have read your Blog through FaceBook pages. thanks

  • So sorry about your loss. Cancer sucks. But the one’s that left us want us to carry on and just be happy. She is obviously still with you and will be always. You’re so lucky to have had a friend like that. Not many people find that in their lives.
    Thanks for this beautiful post.

  • Elisa says:

    Beautifully, beautifully written. You are so blessed to have had each other. Hurts like that never fully go away, but they do fade with time, like a bruise.

    It really stuck with me when you said “She was and is so much a part of me that now, I can’t tell which parts of me are me and which parts are her.” So sorry for your loss.

  • klrs09 says:

    What a beautiful and touching tribute to your friend. Keep writing — you have a lovely style.

  • What a beautiful and strong post. It is amazing that you had a friend like that in your life. I am so sorry for your lose of someone so wonderful.

  • whizwoman says:

    That was indeed very touching. Im sure she misses you too. 🙂

  • Your words really touched me and I feel your loss with you. You are carrying on her legacy and I’m sure she’s parting the clouds and looking down on you and smiling, proud of you to keep on perfecting your baking skills. Take care.

  • […] For Ginnie « Learning to Live Without a Microwave…Among Other Things. This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. ← Edge: EUDAOMONIA, THE GOOD LIFE – Martin Seligman LikeBe the first to like this post. […]

  • Andrew says:

    what a moving post. i’m glad you’re back and so sorry for everything you and ginnie have been through. Check Out –

  • CounterfeitDrug says:

    I never get teary eyed, but gosh… you got me teary eyed! I am so grateful you wrote this post and I was able to read it. Thank you so much. You will see her again in Heaven and I she is watching over you. She is with you always.

  • I can honestly say that this post was the first “Blog” I have ever read. The day I contemplated whether to create a blog I stumbled across your’s on Freshly Pressed and it was beyond an inspiration. This post in particular. The day I read this post I learned that one of my own friends was diagnosed with cancer. I couldn’t believe the coincidence that I would read this incredibly moving post the same day that I started down the path of the same journey you describe in your post, the journey that comes with a cancer diagnosis. I am so sorry for the way that journey ended for you, and I can only hope that it ends differently for my friend. Next week, Feb. 13th, will be the 5 year anniversary of the day I was diagnosed with cancer. I am happy to say that I have now been cancer-free for almost 4 years, but my heart is now breaking for my friend that will now live through what I have already experienced. I’m sorry if this comment is rambling, basically I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for the inspiration and for providing me with a comforting post on a day when I really needed it. (By the way, my friend’s name is Amy. And she was the first person I ever shared one of my own recipes with.)

    • Tyla says:

      I’m so very sorry to hear about your friend and about your own struggle with cancer. Thanks for commenting, sending you (and Amy) love and light.

  • your post touched me very deeply, as i, too, lost one of my best friends & culinary inspirations.

    i always loved to cook, but i am a mess at baking. keeping all those measurements exact & having to be so precise in every step was hard for my klutzy self. my old roommate & one of my best friends was a talented baker, who created things that were not only delicious, but beautiful to look at. she often tried to instill in me the importance of being patient & deliberate when baking. she was an amazing friend. a few years ago, i held her hand as cancer took her life at the age of 22.

    i started my last food blog partly as a way of coping with that feeling to wanting to show her what i have been doing in the kitchen. i strive to bake more, for her, & i like to think i have definitely come a long way since then. i like to think she would be excited that i was trying to make a cake from scratch, or proud of those cookies i decorated so carefully, or that she would be smiling & shaking her head at me when i reached in the oven too eagerly & burnt my hand. again.

    she once sent me a quote from, which is what i read aloud at her funeral. i have it posted at the top of my blog, as a way of dedicating it to her. i hope you enjoy it, & that maybe it brings you some comfort, as well.

    “There are things you do because they feel right & they may make no sense & they may make no money & it may be the real reason we are here: to love each other & to eat each other’s cooking & say it was good.”

    • Tyla says:

      Would you believe that I have a story people art print of that exact quote hanging in my kitchen? Thanks for sharing, such an amazing coincidence!

      • Tyla says:

        Also, I just reread your comment again, and thought about how amazing this is, and it brought me to tears.

      • it really is amazing. i was also thinking about how, despite its publicity, this post wasn’t even what brought me to your site. it was actually the picture of the kitkats on food press! then, i saw the name of your blog & laughed, as i, too, just recently started living without a microwave for the first time in my life. so, of course, i had to read more.

        your post brought me to tears, as well. although i’ve heard a lot of people talk about their experiences with cancer, this is the one that has most resonated with my own, so personally, it was very inspiring & meaningful to read. i very much look forward to following your blog & keeping in touch through comments, etc. ♥ Kim

  • Thank you for sharing so honestly; it reminded me to be more thankful for all the wonderful people in my life.

  • Nicole says:

    Oh my gosh, this is just the saddest! Thanks for sharing this story.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

What’s this?

You are currently reading For Ginnie at Learning to Live Without a Microwave...Among Other Things.